I will Always Love You

 

i have never felt like this. My heart so twisted and gnarled, so many steps taken in pain and thoughts had in grief.

I am a faithful man thou i have fallen. Ive seen many days of happiness and extreme excitement. Times ive held and been held, walked away and come back to my sense. But never have i felt a season such as this. To feel so alone, to be alone. To make friends with your ache. To be known and looked over. Thought of and not called out to. Ive brought hurt and joy into places the had never been. And to people who had never known. Alone i sit, thinking of as many reasons why, as i as many you are not here. 5, six seven years. Counting as i hold back the tears. watching all of you walk by. The ones who where my tribe, and now i am an outkast of the pride. a Byword and an outlaw to those i invested so much into. Only to see to come to this point. Love is strange. The steps i took not as normal as some and out of the ordinary for most. I put a ring on a finger, i walked with you as a bride. A bridge to God, tho your foriegn nature disagreed, i can still see Him setting you free. the taste of the light bursting out from underneath/

These thoughts always on my mind, drifting in and out of i will be fine, to was i blind, to what happened to the time

what happened with our time

my right arm, my left eye

bottom of your boot on my chest

to laying crying caressing your breasts

holding on to more than just whats left

but faith, and that this pain will bring me to the place i need

passed the anguish and into the heavens 

out of the wilderness into a warm home

with love and light and plenty room for anyone who needs to feel 

sitting here, rather laying

writing yet crying out to God

praying

Ive come close to being happy where i was

and then the next thing knocked me out of my heart

the next, my pockets, the next, your life, the next

our dreams

til ther was just me

its hard to believe

it was us against the world at times

really us trying to make it a better place

long drives, being , hoping, believing

breaking into pieces while healing\\

some of us never learned to forgive and others forget

maybe even both, trying to find the tenderness in rejection

the bitter sweet fruit you eat to acceptance\

even been right? ever been always wronged,

the cross is a sacrifice ,

walking with your own is hard

but being there is hard

especially when you are not

when i am a raging bull

kicking in revolt

missing every quote ans saying

thinking of the hope and part you play in

I believe beyond todays saddness

for tomorrows Joy will bring the moon