i have never felt like this. My heart so twisted and gnarled, so many steps taken in pain and thoughts had in grief.
I am a faithful man thou i have fallen. Ive seen many days of happiness and extreme excitement. Times ive held and been held, walked away and come back to my sense. But never have i felt a season such as this. To feel so alone, to be alone. To make friends with your ache. To be known and looked over. Thought of and not called out to. Ive brought hurt and joy into places the had never been. And to people who had never known. Alone i sit, thinking of as many reasons why, as i as many you are not here. 5, six seven years. Counting as i hold back the tears. watching all of you walk by. The ones who where my tribe, and now i am an outkast of the pride. a Byword and an outlaw to those i invested so much into. Only to see to come to this point. Love is strange. The steps i took not as normal as some and out of the ordinary for most. I put a ring on a finger, i walked with you as a bride. A bridge to God, tho your foriegn nature disagreed, i can still see Him setting you free. the taste of the light bursting out from underneath/
These thoughts always on my mind, drifting in and out of i will be fine, to was i blind, to what happened to the time
what happened with our time
my right arm, my left eye
bottom of your boot on my chest
to laying crying caressing your breasts
holding on to more than just whats left
but faith, and that this pain will bring me to the place i need
passed the anguish and into the heavens
out of the wilderness into a warm home
with love and light and plenty room for anyone who needs to feel
sitting here, rather laying
writing yet crying out to God
praying
Ive come close to being happy where i was
and then the next thing knocked me out of my heart
the next, my pockets, the next, your life, the next
our dreams
til ther was just me
its hard to believe
it was us against the world at times
really us trying to make it a better place
long drives, being , hoping, believing
breaking into pieces while healing\\
some of us never learned to forgive and others forget
maybe even both, trying to find the tenderness in rejection
the bitter sweet fruit you eat to acceptance\
even been right? ever been always wronged,
the cross is a sacrifice ,
walking with your own is hard
but being there is hard
especially when you are not
when i am a raging bull
kicking in revolt
missing every quote ans saying
thinking of the hope and part you play in
I believe beyond todays saddness
for tomorrows Joy will bring the moon
