Not To Grown

 change, is good. 

its the only way that things that must become can, transform

The only way that anyone will remember that destruction causes life

that something broken that mends is meant to become whole again

but through the motions of time and process

like trees planted from seeds that grow to become monsters of a kind. 

Love, must become through growth

and when lost it must be relearned in new forms and through letting go of old fashions

we are to gentle when it comes down to being harder 

when it all depends on grown

death, and in its wake, life that would not have otherwise been granted

i have been waking to this fact quit frequently

making adjustments as i go along.

looking for clues that give sight 

to the blinded and unwhole 

i am whole because i know we are not until we are 

Brenda's 35 mm 

Clearer

There is a clearer view of the mountain tops that have been so far off. I can breath a bit more easily and my minds have found a way to calm. In it all, i feel a degree of peace and the new beginning of seeds planted long ago. A root that had been buried very deep in the soil of my souls contentment with my short comings and places that I have not yet grown.  

I can recognize that i have spent years healing. Much longer that i suggested i my mind. I thought i was, until i wasnt. I wasnt prepaired for the moments of testing. Laughing, conversing and debating while holding on to a heaviness that i was not ready to transform. Had i known maybe it would have made a huge difference and possibly made me choose different situations. How looking back does that. It can pain, but with the new mind it can be a blessing wrapped in the burden. 

Keeping in mind i am still on my journey, even a butterfly has caused a gratefulness in my heart that i had once known, and shared and forgotten. The childlike curious of most who have never been broken, and then again those who have and have not let the circumstances that have destroyed their minds for a time. I, being once of the latter can attest to the hard work it has taken to get to a place that i still know need growing, yet i push on. 

The mountain top is clearer, even on days when things that get thrown my way take me beyond the comforts of resting under my destiny. Pride has a way, and even patience must have a day. When we finally lean back and then put all of our weight into every ounce of our journey unrelenting toward the finishing. Wont we have times or sorrow? Indeed, we will weep

and mourn over losses and we will burn inside for lost people and places, opportunities that have left and circumstances that have torn us down. 

Here we can stand, with an open heart that will give us more hope as we go through our time here and reach valley after peak after resting places of refinement. We will see clearer, we will be more of who we can when we grow into an open heart and merciful peace that will change our perspectives for the times we have not yet faces.